Gove – The Playground Bully

Dear Michael,

Oh dear! I’ve just read the online newspapers, somebody was a little bit grouchy last night when the Syria debate kept them up past their bedtime. You were very lucky Mr Speaker didn’t sit you in the naughty corner so you could have a little think about your behaviour.

Let me tell you about education. In schools, children are taught that it’s not the winning that’s important but the taking part. In schools, children are taught respect for others and their views. In schools, children are taught that getting angry doesn’t solve anything and in schools, children are taught that bullying and verbal abuse is not acceptable in any circumstances. So I’m guessing you either didn’t attend school much or you didn’t learn anything (which explains some of the cr@p decisions you make as Secretary of State for Education.

Seeing as your educational achievements are in question here is the definition of the word ‘disgrace’

dis·grace  (ds-grs)


1. Loss of honor, respect, or reputation; shame.
2. The condition of being strongly and generally disapproved.
3. One that brings disfavor or discredit
Now sit down, pick up your pencil and paper and take notes, there may be test on this later.
Let’s take each definition one by one and compare the people you verbally abused with yourself…
1. Loss of honour, respect, or reputation; shame.
  • Those who voted against military intervention in Syria have actually gained more respect and improved their reputation by representing 80% of the electorate. The electorate are the people the MP’s are supposed to work for by the way.
  • The majority of teachers, parents and pupils think you are a knob.

2. The condition of being strongly and generally disapproved.

  • The majority of the electorate approve the decision to postpone any intervention until the UN have concluded their investigations and reported back their findings and therefore approve of the MP’s with the backbone to make a stand.
  • Vote of no confidence – I rest my case.

3. One that brings disfavour or discredit.

  • How can the MP’s that voted against military intervention be bringing discredit to their parties? They represented their constituents while many others just wanted to send someone’s son, daughter, father or mother and put them on the front line.
  • You only have to breathe to bring discredit let alone speak or vote. That’s what happens when you’re a twat unfortunately.
I’ve been reading about you on Wikipedia (it’s called doing my homework). It makes very interesting reading.
  • “Gove was criticised at the May 2013 National Association of Head Teachers conference, whose members condemned what they said was a climate of bullying, fear and intimidation that he had created during his time as Education Secretary. They passed a vote of no confidence in his policies. Votes of no confidence were also passed by the Association of Teachers and Lecturers at conference in March 2013, the National Union of Teachers at its conference in April 2013 (unanimously), and by the NASUWT.” Clearly votes are not your strong point – and bullying, fear and intimidation is a long-standing issue with you. Not exactly a fine role model for our children are you?
  • “When applying for a job at the Conservative Research Department he was told he was insufficiently political and insufficiently Conservative” Congratulations! You’ve progressed from insufficient to completely inadequate. If OfSTED inspected Education Ministers, you’d definitely be put under special measures. 
  • “Gove attended Robert Gordon’s College in Aberdeen, where he was far from an exemplary pupil, and in recent years has written letters of apology to his former teachers for his conduct.” You are not an exemplary MP either to be honest and maybe an apology is in order in this instance also.

You once made a speech in which you said “In effect, rich thick kids do better than poor clever children…”

Indeed they do. Some even make it to top jobs, like Secretary of State for Education.


3 thoughts on “Gove – The Playground Bully

  1. Maybe respect for others, that anger is a no no and other uber liberal agendas WAS taught in schools but after Gove has shit upon teachers schools and the educational system of this country from his great height (snigger) there will be a different ethos in our schools . Win at all cost or accept you are a loser will be the only message soon……..

  2. Brilliantly satirical post – hilarious! Well, it would be if that idiot Gove wasn’t in charge of education : (

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